Planning + Advice, 09 September 2019

How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows

How to write your wedding vows

Writing your wedding vows is a difficult task. I mean, it’s something you’ve probably never done before yet everyone will expect it to be on point, funny and meaningful. The pressures on, right? Don’t fear! We have some useful tips on how to write your own wedding vows.

How To Write Your Wedding Vows

#1 Discuss It With Your Partner First

A huge worry amongst couples is that there better half is going to outshine them. Maybe they won’t say enough? They’ll be more funny? It’ll be more meaningful? Talk it through with your partner first and decide how long the vows should be so that you can both have equal time to express your love. Above all else, remember it’s not a competition and as long as it’s heartfelt, you can’t go far wrong.

#2 Include Humour

Whilst you should take your vows seriously, your personality and humour is what got you to this point so make sure your personality shines through.

#3 Take It Seriously

Whilst it’s good to show your personality and to be humorous, don’t turn it into a complete joke. Your marriage vows are promises you make to each other so take them seriously.

#4 What Do You Want To Promise?

Will you stick by your partner in sickness and in health? Will you love them unconditionally to the day you die? Make sure you include whatever it is you want to promise them. Promise to treat each other with patience, kindness, compassion and understanding.

#5 Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep

Don’t vow perfection because in all honesty, none of us are perfect. Don’t say you’ll always be there for them. Instead say you will do your best to always be there for them. Don’t say you’ll never hurt them because unintentionally, you may do. Instead say, if I ever hurt you, I promise to do my best to make it right. Just promise to do your best if that’s what you honestly intend to do.

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#6 Make Your Vows Real

No relationship is perfect so don’t just talk about the happy times. Talk about the things you’ve had to overcome which led you to this point. Talk about how it’s made you stronger and how thankful you are to be here despite it. Realism will make your vows so much more interesting and meaningful and honestly, we’d be amazed if there was a dry eye in the room.

#7 Don’t Simply Express Your Love

Whilst it’s nice to express your love for one another, you’re vows are so much more than telling someone you love them. It’s a serious commitment and you need to acknowledge that you are committing to this person in every sense of your being.

#8 Keep It Short and Sweet

You can’t include everything so choose the best bits, the things that make you happy, the things that matter most and roll with that.

#9 Find A Quiet Space

Life is busy. To really write heartfelt vows, you need to get away from the hustle and bustle. Clear your mind and you’ll be surprised what you remember. Not only is this good for your wedding vows but it’s good for you to reminisce on the good old days.

#10 Don’t Leave It Too Late

Leaving it to the last minute will undoubtedly cause unnecessary stress and will give you writers block. Make sure you pace yourself and aim to get your vows written at least a month before the wedding so that you’re not under any pressure to get the words out.

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#11 Write Down Your Thoughts

Don’t feel as though you have to get it all down in one hit. Spend a week or two just jotting down all the things you love about your partner, why you want to marry them and any other meaningful thing that comes to you. Go through them and pick out your favourite bits and use this as your base for writing your vows.

#12 Use Other Vows As Your Template

Don’t be afraid to use other people’s vows as your template. It can be a great starting point and you can add to it to make it a lot more personal.

#13 Turn To Songs For Inspiration

Do you have a favourite love song, book or movie that resonates with you? You can use their lines as a starting point and just add to it to make it more unique to you.

#14 Don’t Overthink It

Don’t worry if it sounds cheesy. Honestly if it came from the heart, you have nothing to worry about.

#15 Walk Away

Once you’ve written your vows, walk away from it for at least a week then go back and read over it. A fresh head gives us new perspective and you can see what works and what doesn’t. You can change it, add to it and improve on it.

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#16 Get A Second Opinion

Ask your nearest and dearest if they’d read over it and give you some pointers on what you can improve upon.

#17 Leave it be

Once you’ve amended it a handful of times, it’s time to leave it be. Don’t keep returning to it because quite frankly, you’ll drive yourself insane. Your heart has spoken, now leave it be.

#18 Input Pauses

Writing a speech is totally different to writing a speech. Make sure you input pauses so that you’re able to pace yourself. Nerves can make you rush through your speech but you really want to take your time with it. This will allow your guests the time to really take it all in.

#19 Read It Aloud

Reading it in your head and reading it aloud are two separate entity’s. Make sure you read it out loud and are comfortable with how it sounds.

#20 Keep Them Secret

Don’t leave your vows lying around for your partner to find, keep them top secret until the wedding day.

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#21 Write Them Up One Last Time

Once you’ve written and probably rewritten your vows on a number of occasions, it’s to rewrite / type them. The last thing you want is to pull out a tea stained, crinkled bit of paper at the alter, especially when the cameras are pointed directly at you.

#22 Have A Spare Copy

Lastly, you want to make sure you have more than one copy, just incase your original goes missing and you lose your words at the alter!

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